Age matters

I've ranted before, on always seeming to have to be the more mature one; the one who has the responsibility of taking care of everyone. Right now, I can only say that I'm torn between hating being the more mature one, and hating being one of the younger ones. I suppose it's a matter of balance; something which will probably never come my way.

Since I've ranted about the former, I shan't delve into it. I'll talk about the latter issue instead.

It all started with the first comment of the morning. "Are you wearing a black bra under that white shirt?" And following that, a somewhat milder version of negative criticism about how I shouldn't do that. What the hell is wrong with wearing a black bra underneath a white shirt, when the shirt isn't exactly made of an ultra thin material. Besides, I am not wearing a laced bra for fuck's sake! The comments are not as bad as the disapproving look. It's not as if I am wearing a hot pink bra; neither am I not wearing one at all. What is so wrong with this?!

Then the conversation always leads to one conclusion: She is still young. Forgive her.

I hate that statement! What the fuck does that mean!? Age doesn't matter in this. Countless women wear black bras under white shirts. COUNTLESS! Women of all ages! And anyway, why should it concern them when I am the one wearing it, and that no one else seems to be bothered about it!?.. Sure, they say that it's an advice from seniors. Dear Lord!

Ok, so my issue isn't really with the bra. I don't really care because I like it that way. My issue is with that sentence. With that somewhat condescending tone of how I am still young and don't know any better. For goodness sake!

Truth be told, I feel so damn insulted by that statement. It's like branding me as one of those ignorant youths who do don't think and wind up doing silly things. The worst part is that because I am considered one of the younger ones, I can't say anything in defence of my position; even to those who are merely 3 or 4 years my senior. If I say anything at all, they would really look at me like some stupid hot-headed youth who is giving some smart-ass retort. Tell me, what should I do? Do I say something back, and risk getting them riled up? Or do I just shut up and let them rant all they want until they decide that they've said enough?

For now, I'm still keeping quiet. Most days, it works like a charm. Then there are those days, like today, when it just gets to me. I suppose this irritation builds up over time, and there are the days when it just gets to me big time. The added frustration of not being able to say anything makes it ten times worse. Perhaps I'm just having a bout of low self-esteem, and it will pass soon enough. But when will 'soon' come?...