Finally crumbled...
Just couldn't hold back the torrent of words that spilled from within.
I knew this day would come. How could I have possibly kept it bottled up inside that long? I've waited and waited, hoping I was wrong; hoping that it was just a phase that would pass by soon enough. Certain days it seemed like I was right, and then the next it went back to the way it was.
Every time I pointed it out, the reply is always "what?"; as if I were making something out of nothing at all. Think back of every scene and every reply you've given to me. Think back on every crestfallen expression or voice, whenever you replied in that uninterested and aloof tone of yours. Then tell me that you truly don't see my torment.
It didn't start this way and yet overnight things changed somehow. You changed somehow. Perhaps you have your reasons, but why won't you tell?.. How could I possibly know?. No matter how well I know you, I can't read your mind; or don't you already know that?..
I didn't push you for an answer this time. I only just said what I'd kept bottled up all this time. Why didn't I push for an answer when you know I've always done so in the past? I just didn't want to do it anymore. I didn't want to hear things that are said in frustration and anger. I want the words to come out voluntarily, like so many other times I'd heard before. I didn't want to create more hate than what I've probably already unknowingly created in the past.
Do I feel any better after that fiasco? Certainly my current state is answer enough. No, I don't because I might have truly blown it. You might never look for me again. But in the end, I know I had to. I had to find out how someone could seemingly forget the existence of the past and do this 360 degree turn about; devoid of feelings and , dare I even say, love?...
Don't try to spare me the pain; clearly it already has the exact opposite effect. Don't try to keep your feelings hidden to avoid giving me false hope and ideas; I just need to know the truth....
I should stop... I've had enough for one night... But there's always the next night, isn't there?...
Just couldn't hold back the torrent of words that spilled from within.
I knew this day would come. How could I have possibly kept it bottled up inside that long? I've waited and waited, hoping I was wrong; hoping that it was just a phase that would pass by soon enough. Certain days it seemed like I was right, and then the next it went back to the way it was.
Every time I pointed it out, the reply is always "what?"; as if I were making something out of nothing at all. Think back of every scene and every reply you've given to me. Think back on every crestfallen expression or voice, whenever you replied in that uninterested and aloof tone of yours. Then tell me that you truly don't see my torment.
It didn't start this way and yet overnight things changed somehow. You changed somehow. Perhaps you have your reasons, but why won't you tell?.. How could I possibly know?. No matter how well I know you, I can't read your mind; or don't you already know that?..
I didn't push you for an answer this time. I only just said what I'd kept bottled up all this time. Why didn't I push for an answer when you know I've always done so in the past? I just didn't want to do it anymore. I didn't want to hear things that are said in frustration and anger. I want the words to come out voluntarily, like so many other times I'd heard before. I didn't want to create more hate than what I've probably already unknowingly created in the past.
Do I feel any better after that fiasco? Certainly my current state is answer enough. No, I don't because I might have truly blown it. You might never look for me again. But in the end, I know I had to. I had to find out how someone could seemingly forget the existence of the past and do this 360 degree turn about; devoid of feelings and , dare I even say, love?...
Don't try to spare me the pain; clearly it already has the exact opposite effect. Don't try to keep your feelings hidden to avoid giving me false hope and ideas; I just need to know the truth....
I should stop... I've had enough for one night... But there's always the next night, isn't there?...
posted by Raelin at Thursday, September 04, 2008
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home