Thursday, September 08, 2005

Unseen, Unheard, Unheeded...




"The Scream" - Edvard Munsch









Vox clamantis in deserto - "The voice of one shouting in the desert."

Ever get the feeling sometimes that you feel so trapped in your own world? You scream and you shout for someone to hear you but the whole world just carries on with its life, paying you no heed. This feeling can get tremendously suffocating.
So often I try to scream, try to say something. But the only problem is that no one really can spare the time to listen. A selfish part of me wishes that I could stop the world from revolving; to stop the people in their tracks; to have the power to grab someone in front of me and let out all my frustration to. But alas, I cannot do so.
Some people do listen; that I cannot deny. The only problem here is that they listen but they do not pay attention. The act of listening does not mean that one is absorbing what they are listening to.
I often wonder if even I can hear my own screams. Perhaps not. Perhaps I, too, choose to ignore my own cries. If that is not so, why then do I feel so trapped and yet I cannot begin to pinpoint the source of all this anguish raging in the depths of my mind.
I don't mind listening to people and their complaints. I even want to help them out and make things better for them. But sometimes, just sometimes I wish I could be heard too. It doesn't help when each time I attempt to get something off my chest, someone listens for 2 minutes, nodding their heads; then goes back to their complaining. Frankly speaking, this is just downright exasperating.
Know what is worse? That I cannot even find the right words to explain how I feel, or what I am feeling. End up frustrating not only myself, but others too. Hah... Hell...

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