Here You Appeared Again

I dreamt of you again last night..
It has been such a long time since you appeared in my dreams. Why the sudden appearance and this awful masquerade?.. Maybe my mind is trying to tell me something; maybe my mind is playing games with me; and maybe, just maybe I am missing you.
I no longer yearn for anything. Neither do I need anything from you anymore. And yet, I would be lying if I said that I no longer miss the times we shared. Still, the dream unveiled nothing of feeling lost or upset. Rather, what I felt seemed so much more like fear. What is it that scares me so? In my dream, the thought of being near to you petrified me. The irony of it all, when what I should have felt was disappointment or anger.
I tried to inch away, but you just kept coming forward. I wanted to run away, to escape from your clutches. There wasn't any hint of menace in you; and yet, I felt the need to run away, and not fall into that trap again. The trap that robbed me of all my freedom. The trap that encapsulated me in a bout of fog; fog so thick that I could not breathe.
I don't know what this all means. I don't know if what I understand is right. I guess I truly fear going back to 'then' again. I fear what 'might be' would be the same as before. Am I making sense? I don't know. It's so apt that this has to come to me at a time when I cannot afford to get distracted. What hold do you have on me that I cannot seem to comprehend? O, the devil take you dream-maker!